Grand Cards: A Champion's Stache: #3 Lynn Jones

Friday, September 4, 2009

A Champion's Stache: #3 Lynn Jones

In light of my newfound commitment to the greater good that is the collective power of Michigan fans growing mustaches for the September 5th opening game, I thought it best to recall a time 25 years ago when Mustaches led our own Detroit Tigers to their last World Series Championship

1984 Topps #731 Lynn Jones

Lynn Jones is #1. Looking through my cards from ’84, Lynn Jones was the one that stuck out in my mind. He is the reason I decided to go forward with this list—so that people could see how awesome Lynn Jones’ mustache was, and to convince myself that maybe, with some good luck and dimoxonil that I too could end up looking as great as Lynn Jones did in 1984.

But I caved to the pressure. The more I thought about the list, the more hesitant I was to place Jones at the top. I bumped him down a spot, to a respectable number 2. Then, this morning, as I thought about writing the post for my previous number 3, I realized that I just couldn’t do it. Lynn Jones was getting bumped again.

This is all not to say that a number 3 spot is something to be ashamed of. If this we’re a batting order, he’d be the most feared hitter. If it were the Olympics, he’d be on the Podium. In fact, Lynn Jones should be thanking me, as I’m sure that this is his first inclusion on any Tigers related Top-10 list, except for possibly the Top 10 Tiger Players that you don’t remember from the early 80’s. In his 8 year career, the first five of which were in Detroit, the OF fill-in DH (!) hit .252 with 7 home runs and 91 RBIs. That’s his career, people. Baseball Reference compared him to legends like Wilbur Howard, Johnny Welaj and Boots Day—who, if you remember him at all, it was not because of his batting stats.

So really, I hereby honor Lynn Jones with the #3 spot on our list. He could have been #1 (after all, he did hit .292 as a rookie, his career high), but things just didn’t work out. It turns out, all other things being equal, that baseball is about more than just the mustache. You definitely need a mustache, but even one as great as Lynn Jones’ won’t take you the distance.
Stay tuned later today and tomorrow to see why Lynn Jones may be number 1 in our hearts, but not on this list.

Addendum: As I look at this card again, I continue to question myself. That picture of Jones taking batting practice is unbelievably awesome. Should he have been number 1? Let me know your thoughts--my ability to be objective has clearly been compromised.

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